Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
