When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
