tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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