I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
