All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
