if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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