we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
