So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
