To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
