my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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