He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
