OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
