my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize