I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
