Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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