At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize