love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
