I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
