it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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