Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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