We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
