I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
