is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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