My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
