i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
