he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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