I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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