you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
