He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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