Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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