He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
