Swine flu. Run for my life!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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