Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
