i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
