THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize