Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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