dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
