They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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