please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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