No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
