just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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