ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
