omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
