Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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(828): View more from North Carolina

my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

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(512): View more from Texas

Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"

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