I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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