i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
