I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
