i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
