hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
