Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
