he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
