what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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