Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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