is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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