you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Life is so much better after having sex.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
