saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
