From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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