The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
