good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
