You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
