i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
