let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
