were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
