Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know her cup size but not her name....
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